Fourth Post: The Beginning of the Fall

FOURTH POST:

The Beginning of the Fall


Heaven goes on and on. Earthlings always worry about there not being enough room in heaven for everyone, but heaven is limitless. Besides, That One can always make it bigger. Actually, in heaven “size” is not the same as it is on Earth. Nobody really takes up space per se, and you can’t really measure the size of heaven in earthly terms. I don’t fully understand it. Athena’s way smarter than I and can explain the physics of heaven much better than I ever could. I’d ask her, but we haven’t spoken in millennia. Our relationship became strained, we grew further and further apart, we started hitting each other. Then I raped her, and she gave me the worst beating of my existence. And she left. And I haven’t seen her since. That was two-thousand years ago.

What started it all? Free Will. Hear me, Earth-human: Free Will is stupid. Curse That One for creating Free Will. I do with every move.

Shortly after That One announced the creation of Free Will, he called a meeting with all of us in heaven. Heaven has a huge amphitheater in which we all can meet. We gathered there, billions of us, at the amphitheater, which was in the middle of a grassy field full of grazing giraffes and ten-foot tall sunflowers. The amphitheater went on for miles, but it felt oddly intimate. Every time someone stepped forward to address the assembly, his, her, or tron face appeared on the sky before us so that all could see, and the voice was as loud and clear as if the person were standing next to you. Above the face, looming over us, was the face of That One, intense indigo and full of stars in each eye, impressive but not intimidating. Back then, That One made a point of not being intimidating.

That One spoke with a voice like a loud purr that we could hear and feel. The purr filled me with warmth. Athena and I held hands and smiled at each other. We loved the Divine Purr. Our affection for each other grew stronger when we felt and heard the Purr.

“Starting today, we are beginning a new creation. I am finishing the planning for a new universe, which will feature a planet much like Xela. The planet will be called Earth, and humans like yourselves will inhabit it. I will use all of you as messengers to Earth-humans. To differentiate from Earth-humans, from here on out I will call you angels, a word that will mean ‘messenger.’ You will convey messages and assistance to me and to the Earth-humans. I thank you in advance for your assistance.” We all cheered. We had no problem with that ruling. We had no problem with anything That One said, because there was no Free Will. Whatever That One decreed was fine with us.

The Divine Purr went on. “Thank you for your support.” He paused. “As I indicated in the morning announcement, this new universe will have something that I call Free Will. Let me explain. You all have automatically accepted whatever I have told you. If I told you that you were to do a certain job or a live a certain way, you obeyed me without question. With Free Will, all living creatures, including you, will have the option of disobeying me. Obeying me, loving me, will be a choice, not a requirement.”

We all just stared at him. He smiled. “You don’t understand, because Free Will has never been a possibility. Once I give it to you, though, you will understand, and you will also question my decision. You will wonder why I gave you Free Will. Free Will is part of a larger, more elaborate plan that will lead to greater love than we have ever known. You see, choosing to love someone is greater than being required to love someone. Free Will will produce creatures who choose to love, and that love will produce a greater joy than anyone has ever known.”

Someone said, “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, MamaPapaTrona, but you know best. Whatever you want is fine with us.” Many of us said the same, including Athena and I.

He stared at us and nodded slowly, still smiling. Then his smile shrank, disappeared. He stopped nodding. He sighed. “I love you all. Do not forget that, ever. I love you all very much. Please remember that.” Everyone cheered. We knew. Then. We had always known. We never questioned That One’s love. We never had questioned it, anyway, until the next instant. That One closed his eyes. Purred. The purr swelled, became so loud that my ears hurt. The purr vibrated throughout my head, throughout my heart. Then the purr died, disappeared. I’ve never heard it again.

That One opened his eyes. His stars glistened. “It has been accomplished,” he said. “I hope this was a good idea.”

“Hope what was a good idea?” I asked.

“Free Will.”

And out of my mouth came something strange, foreign, frightening, disturbing. I said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea. You made a mistake, MamaPapaTrona.” Every head turned to me. I had done something no one had ever done: I had disagreed with That One. I had criticized That One. I don’t think anyone was afraid of That One being angry with me. I certainly was not afraid, because we had never seen That One’s wrath. There had been no need for wrath, because no one had ever disobeyed him. I hadn’t disobeyed him, either, at that point. I simply had disagreed, but the statement sounded and felt terrifying, horrible.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I said, dropping to my knees. I bowed my head. “Please forgive me,” I added. That was the first time anyone had ever asked That One for forgiveness.

That One patted my head. “Lucifer. A sword’s going to pierce your heart. You have no idea. But all manner of thing shall be well.”

“I believe you,” I said, but within me formed this: YOU ARE WRONG.

That statement has never left me.